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Welcome to
ButlerWebs' General Webs for:
Word Fun
Interesting and Funny Stuff About Language, Definitions,
and Words
These are real words!
CLINCHPOOPER: Someone who is a complete slob.
WISTERPOOPER: A slap along side the head.
THENAN: The palm of the hand.
So...If your kid is a CLINCHPOOPER, you should WISTERPOOPER
them with your THENAN! LOL!
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
-- George Carlin
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Funny Medical Definitions
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Benign: What you be after you be eight.
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Artery: The study of paintings.
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Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
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Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
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Cesarean Section: .A neighborhood in Rome.
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Catscan: Searching for kitty.
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Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
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Colic: A sheep dog.
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Coma: A punctuation mark.
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D & C: Where Washington is.
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Dilate: To live long.
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Enema: Not a friend.
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Fester: Quicker than someone else.
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Fibula: A small lie.
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Genital: Non-Jewish person.
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G. I. Series: World Series of military baseball.
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Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.
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Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
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Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
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Medical Staff: A Doctor's cane.
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Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
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Nitrates: Cheaper than day.
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Node: Was aware of.
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Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
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Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.
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Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
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Post Operative: A letter carrier.
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Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
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Rectum: Darn near killed him.
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Secretion: Hiding something.
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Seizure: Roman emperor.
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Tablet: A small table.
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Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
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Tumor: More than one.
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Urine: Opposite of you're out.
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Varicose: Nearby, close by.
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Vein: Conceited
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Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.
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Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."
From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting,
"Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda."
~~~~~
An anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.
The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has far too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!)
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George Bush -- rearrange the letters -- He bugs Gore.
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Dormitory -- rearrange the letters -- Dirty Room.
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Evangelist -- rearrange the letters -- Evil's Agent.
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Desperation -- rearrange the letters -- A Rope Ends It.
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The Morse Code -- rearrange the letters -- Here Come Dots.
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Slot Machines -- rearrange the letters -- Cash Lost In
'Em.
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Animosity -- rearrange the letters -- Is No Amity.
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Mother-in-law -- rearrange the letters -- Woman Hitler.
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Snooze Alarms -- rearrange the letters -- Alas! No More Z's.
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A Decimal Point -- rearrange the letters -- I'm A Dot In Place.
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Eleven plus two -- rearrange the letters -- Twelve plus one.
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And for the grand finale:
President Clinton of the USA -- can be arranged into -- To Copulate He Finds
Interns.
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Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
~~~~~
What's another word for "thesaurus?"
~~~~~
How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?!?!
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Is there another word for synonym? -- George Carlin
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Why are there five syllables in the word
"monosyllabic"?
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"I am." is the shortest complete
sentence in the English language.
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The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
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No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
F.Y.I.: The correct spelling is MILLENNIUM.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled
without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters
"mt".
"C" is the most popular first letter
when it comes to capital cities. The six state capitals that begin with
the letter "C" are:
There are only four words in the English language which end in
"dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous,
and hazardous.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
More capital cities names begin with "B" than any other letter -- Baghdad, Belfast, Belgrade, Berlin, Berne, Bogotá, Bonn, Brussels, Bucharest, Budapest, Buenos Aires -- just to name a few...
Most frequently spoken word on the Planet: OK
Source: http://yourdictionary.com
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Fact or Fiction??
Life in the 1500's...
Baths equaled a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house
had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women
and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you
could actually loose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with
the bath water".
Houses had thatched roofs. Thick straw piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets... dogs, cats
and other small animals, mice, rats, bugs lived in the roof. When it rained it became
slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying,
"It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This
posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up
your nice clean bed. So they found if they made beds with big posts and hung a sheet over
the top, it addressed that problem. Hence those beautiful big 4 poster beds with canopies.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt,
hence the saying "dirt poor". The wealthy had slate floors, which would get
slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their
footing. As the winter wore on they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door
it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entryway, hence a
"thresh hold".
Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when
that happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and hang it to show
it off. It was a sign of wealth and that a man could really "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew
the fat."
Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece
of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trenchers were never washed and a
lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off wormy trenchers, they would get
"trench mouth."
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom
of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper
crust".
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would
sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take
them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a
couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if
they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake".
England is old and small and they started running out of places to
bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and
re-use the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to
have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So
they thought they would tie a string on their wrist and lead it through the coffin and up
through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard
all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" they would know
that someone was "saved by the bell" or he was a "dead ringer".
Author Unknown
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The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some recent winners:
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Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.
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Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
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Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.
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Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
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Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
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Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
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Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
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Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (this one got extra credit).
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Glibido: All talk and no action.
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Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
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Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Compliments of CodaZepp
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All-Time Best Oxymorons
Act naturally
Found missing
Resident alien
Advanced BASIC
Genuine imitation
Airline Food
Good grief
Same difference
Almost exactly
Government organization
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Silent scream
Living dead
Small crowd
Soft rock
New classic
Sweet sorrow
Childproof
Synthetic natural gas
Passive aggression
Taped live
Clearly misunderstood
Peace force
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Working vacation
Exact estimate
Microsoft Works
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Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
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The bandage was wound around the wound.
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The farm was used to produce produce.
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The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
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We must polish the Polish furniture.
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He could lead if he would get the lead out.
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The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
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Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
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A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
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When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
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I did not object to the object.
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The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
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They were too close to the door to close it.
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The buck does funny things when the does are present.
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A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
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To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
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The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
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After a number of injections my jaw got number.
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Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
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I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
Submitted by Nancy
~~~~~
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
~~~~~
ANIMOSITY: If you rearrange the
letters you can get: IS NO AMITY
GEORGE BUSH: If you rearrange the letters you can get: HE BUGS GORE
A DECIMAL POINT: If you rearrange the
letters you can get: I'M A DOT IN PLACE
DESPERATION: If you rearrange the letters you can get: A ROPE ENDS IT
DORMITORY: If you rearrange the letters you
can get: DIRTY ROOM
THE EARTHQUAKES: If you rearrange the
letters you can get: TH
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: If you rearrange the
letters you can get: TWELVE PLUS ONE
EVANGELIST: If you rearrange the letters
you can get: EVIL'S AGENT
THE MORSE CODE: If you rearrange the letters
you can get: HERE COME DOTS
MOTHER-IN-LAW: If you rearrange the letters
you can get: WOMAN HITLER
PRESBYTERIAN: If you rearrange the letters
you can get: BEST IN PRAYER
SLOT MACHINES: If you rearrange the letters
you can get: CASH LOST IN ME
SNOOZE ALARMS: If you rearrange the letters
you can get: ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
~~~ Top - Directory
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Dictionary.com
~~~~~
Rogets
Thesaurus
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For a list of spelling differences between
Britain, Canada and
the USA, check out:
WWlib - Notes on American English
~~~~~
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Inspiration &
Motivation
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Thoughts...
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Words
- The six most important words in the
English language:
"I admit I made a mistake."
- The five most important words:
"You did a good job."
- The four most important words:
"What is your opinion?"
- The three most important words:
"If you please."
- The two most important words:
"Thank you."
- The one most important word:
"We."
- The one least important words:
"I"
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This page was last edited 06/05/06.
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