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Older Folks Baby Boomers & Over The Hill Senior Citizens - Growing Older - Aging Growing old is inevitable...growing up is optional.

For those of us who are "over the hill", have hit "mid-life", aging, elderly, senior citizens -- information, humor, stories, inspirational and motivational items, jokes, etc. for and about "Older Folks."

The biggest disadvantage of old age is that you can't outgrow it.

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Yes...being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Submitted by Sassy

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    Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than ten years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half." You're never 36-and-a-half ...you're four-and-a-half going on 5.
    You get into your teens; now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16."  You could be 12, but you're gonna be 16. Eventually.
    Then the great day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21....Yes!!
    Then you turn 30. What happened there?  Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. What's wrong? What changed?  You BECOME 21; you TURN 30.
    Then you're PUSHING 40....stay over there.
    You REACH 50.
    You BECOME 21; you TURN 30; You're PUSHING 40; you REACH 50; then you MAKE IT to 60.  By then you've built up so much speed, you HIT 70.  After that, it's a day by day thing. You HIT Wednesday...You get into your 80's; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30.
    My Grandmother won't even buy green bananas.  "Well, it's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one."  And it doesn't end there....Into the 90's, you start going backwards. "I was JUST 92."  Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half."

Author Unknown

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Read this, and if you are in fact a "Geezer", be proud!  If you do not qualify, hope that one day you too will be a "Geezer".

"Geezers"

    "Geezers" are easy to spot; this is slang for an old man. But, at sporting events, during the playing of the National Anthem, they hold their caps over their hearts and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them. They remember the Depression, World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam.
    If you bump into a "Geezer" on the sidewalk, he'll apologize, pass a Geezer on the street, he'll nod, or tip his cap to a lady. "Geezers" trust strangers and are courtly to women. They hold the door for the next person and always when walking, make sure the lady is on the inside for protection. "Geezers" get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like violence and filth on TV and in movies. Geezers have moral courage. Geezers seldom brag unless it's about the grandchildren in Little League or music recitals.
    This country needs "Geezers" with their decent values and common sense. We need them now more than ever. It's the "Geezers" who know our great country is protected, not by politicians or police, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country in foreign lands, just as they did, without a thought except to do a good job, the best you can and to get home to loved ones.

Thank God for *** "GEEZERS."

Author Unknown  -  Submitted by Ray

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Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Submitted by Sassy

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Don't Blame The Seniors

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. Upon reflection, I would like to point out that it was not the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The romance out of love,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement,
And we certainly are not the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from relationships.

So There!

Submitted by Nancy

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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

Submitted by Sassy

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People Over 35 Should be Dead - Here's Why...

• According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived.
• Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.
• We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets.
• Lets not mention the extreme risks we took hitchhiking.
• As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags.
• Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
• We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
• We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
• We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
• We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
• We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on.
• No one was able to reach us all day. (No cell phones!)
• We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms.
• We had friends! - We went outside and found them.
• We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt.
• We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?
• We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.
• We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.
• We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
• Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
• Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade.
• Tests were not adjusted for any reason.
• Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.
• The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law.
• This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever.
• The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
• We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
• And you're one of them! Congratulations!
• People under 30 are WIMPS!

Submitted by Pete

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It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything!

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    A little old lady in the nursing home held up her clenched fist and announced, "Anyone who can guess what I have in my closed hand can have sex with me tonight!"
    An elderly gentleman in the rear called out, "An elephant?"
    She replied, "Close enough!"

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Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around!

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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-- Caryn Leschen

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     When my grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel.
     As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts.  The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints -- this hurts, that's stiff, I'm tireder and slower, etc., etc., etc.
     He responded with, "Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating.  After all, who wants to live to 100?"
     My grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's 99."

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Getting older is like visiting an all-you-can-eat buffet.
What should be hot is cold, what should be firm is limp,
and the buns are bigger than anything else on the menu!

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Alphabet For Aging

A.... is for arthritis
B.... is for bad back 
C.... is for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?
D.... is for dental decay and decline 
E.... is for eyesight--can't read that top line 
F.... is for fissures and fluid retention 
G.... is for gas (which I'd rather not mention
and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)
H.... is for high blood pressure 
I.... is for itches, and lots of incisions 
J.... is for joints, that now fail to flex
L.... is for libido--what happened to sex?
!!!!!Wait! I forgot about K! 
K.... is for my knees that crack all the time
(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my 
M....-memory from time to time) 
N.... is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis 
O.... is for Osteo - for all the bones that crack 
P.... is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune 
Q.... is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?
Give me another pill and I'll be good as new! 
R.... is for reflux--one meal turns into two 
S.... is for sleepless nights, counting my fears on
how to pay my increasing medical bills!
T.... is for tinnitus -- I hear bells in my ears and the
word "terminal" also rings too near 
U.... is for urinary and the difficulties that flow
(or not)
V.... is for vertigo, as life spins by 
W.... is worry, for pains yet found 
X.... is for X ray--and what one might find
Y..... is for year (another one I'm still alive)
Z.... is for zest: for surviving the symptoms my body's deployed,
And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed

Submitted by SassyLD1
Love................Sassy
Always tell the truth...it's easier to remember!!
http://www.sassy1.com

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Old Enough To Remember?  Remember When?

Remember when... You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot!

Remember when...

• All soft drinks came in bottles and you could get a deposit back.

• Cars had no air-conditioning.

• There was "free air" at all service stations.

• There were S&H green stamps.

• You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time.

• You could go as a child and buy your mom a pack of cigarettes.

• Music was on vinyl records 45 rpm and albums were 78 rpm.

• There was one light (red) on top of police cars.

• There was only AM radio.

• Everyone took the bus to town.

• You could go and see a live Jan & Dean concert for $3.00.

• Gas was .26 a gal and ethyl was way too high at .30.

• Typing class was noisy.

• You only had GM, Ford and Chrysler making cars in the US.

• Most of the change in your pocket was pure silver.

• Football helmets came without face guards.

• The Network News was only 15 minutes long.

• Motor oil came in metal containers.

• Toothpaste came in metal tubes.

• The balcony at the movie theater had the best view.

• Cracker Jacks had a decent and unusual prize in it.

• The only sideburns you saw were on the pictures of dead presidents.

• Every one you knew had a vaccination scar.

• You believed everything the Government said.

• The worst you could do socially was drink a beer.

• Every house had a tall outside TV antennae.

• You could call a doctor and he would come to your house (the same day).

• Men put on a suit, they also put on a hat.

• Your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done and wore high heels.

• Atomic War was a real everyday thought.

• Men carried metal lunch boxes to work.

• Mom was at home when the kids got home from school.

• Nobody owned a purebred dog.

• A quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter, a huge bonus.

• You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

• It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

• The worst thing you could do at school was smoke in the bathrooms, flunk a test or chew gum.

• A '55 Chevy was everyone's dream car -- to cruise, peel out, lay rubber.

• People went steady and girls wore a class ring with an inch of wrapped yarn so it would fit her finger.

• No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked.

• You got in big trouble if you accidentally locked the doors at home, since no one ever had a key.

• Lying on your back on the grass with your friends and saying things like "That cloud looks like a ...?"

• Jumping waves at the ocean for hours in that cold water.

• Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game.  Back then, baseball was not a psychological group learning experience; it was a game.

• Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger.

• Remember when being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.  Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.  Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we all survived because their love was greater than the threat.
• Going to the bank meant going inside and seeing a teller - cashing a check - no automatic teller machines.
• Kool-Aid.
• Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
• Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do it over!"
• "Race issue"; meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
• Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly.
• The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
• Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."
• Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

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We made a new page!  Stories & Poems for Older Folks
Inspirational, motivational and humorous stories and essays for and about older folks,
a/k/a Baby Boomers and those of us "over the hill."

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We have so many good links for Older Folks - 
so we made a separate page! CLICK HERE

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Quick Links to the OLDER FOLKS Pages from ButlerWebs:
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[ Stories & Essays for Older Folks ] [ Links to Other Web Sites for Older Folks ]

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This page was last edited 01/05/07.