Q:  How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
A:  Flattered.

~~~~~

Q:  What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

~~~~~

Q:  What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A:  Third Grade.

~~~~~

Q:  What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A:  She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

~~~~~

Q:  How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A:  She fell out of the tree.

~~~~~

Q:  How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A:  One.

~~~~~

Q:  Why couldn't the blonde write the number "eleven?"
A: She didn't know which "one" came first.

~~~~~

Q:  What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A:  Divorced.

~~~~~

Q:  How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A:  Two -- One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

~~~~~

Q:  How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A:  She threw it off a cliff.

~~~~~

Q:  How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A:  She fell out of the tree.

~~~~~

Q:  How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A:  The cow fell on her.

~~~~~

Q:  How did the blonde burn her nose?
A:  Bobbing for

~~~~~

Q:  How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A:  There's white-out on the screen.

~~~~~

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.

~~~~~

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

~~~~~

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

~~~~~

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

~~~~~

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

~~~~~

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

~~~~~

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it 'good for up to 20 pounds.

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

~~~~~

Q: What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's ?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE.

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

~~~~~

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

~~~~~

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

~~~~~

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

~~~~~

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

~~~~~

Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

~~~~~

Q. Why can't a blonde die in her sleep?
A. Because blondes can't do two things at once.

~~~~~

Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? 
A: She wanted to see what she looked like when she was sleeping.

~~~~~

Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She buries it in dirt.

Submitted by Soccercrazy544

Q: How does a blonde kill a bird?
A: Throw it of a cliff.

Submitted by Soccercrazy544

~~~~~

Q:  What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pull the pin and throw it back!!
Q: What happens when she pulls the pin and throws it at you?
A: You watch her explode as the pin lands in your hand!!

Submitted by Gosbin

~~~~~

Q:  What do you call a dead blonde sitting in the closet?
A:  The winner of a 1973 hide-and-seek game.

Submitted by Tigra6Lily

~~~~~

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a mirror in the water

Submitted by bambou69

~~~~~

Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Submitted by Tewelman

~~~~~

Q:. How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!

Submitted by BMBKN

~~~~~

Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower?
A: Give her a bottle of shampoo that says "Wash, rinse, and repeat."

~~~~~

Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.

~~~~~

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blonde One-Liners

These two blondes walk into a building.
You'd think one of them would have seen it.

~~~~~

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night...

~~~~~

A blonde looked at her drivers license and got depressed when she saw that she got an "F" in sex.

~~~~~

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

~~~~~

Did you hear about the blonde car pool?
They all meet at work.

~~~~~

Blondes Strike Back

What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.

What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.

Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can remember them.

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.

What's a brunette's mating call?
"Has the blonde left yet?"

What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.

What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.

Submitted by Cicec

~~ Top of Page ~~

For links to other Blonde Jokes Web sites, see our Humor Links Page

Quick Links to the Dumb Blonde Joke Pages from ButlerWebs:
[ Blonde Jokes - Page 1 ]
[ Dumb Blonde Jokes - Page 2 ] [ Dumb Blonde Jokes - Page 3 ] [ Dumb Blonde Jokes - Page 4 ] [ Dumb Blonde Riddles & One Liners - Page 1 ] [ Dumb Blond Riddles & One Liners - Page 2 ]

Quick Links to the 100's of Jokes & Cartoons Categories from ButlerWebs:
[ 100's of Jokes & Cartoons - Home Page & Index ]
[ Animals, Pets & Critters ] [ Automotive & Driving Humor ] [ Babyboomers, Over-The-Hill Humor - 4 Pages! ] [ Blonde Jokes & Riddles - 6 Pages! ] [ Bloopers, Funny Ads & Signs ] [ Brain Teasers - 2 Pages! ] [ Bumper Stickers - 2 Pages! ] [ Chick With Nice Knockers ] [ Christmas Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ COMIC CORNER - Featuring Cartoonists! ] [ Computer & Internet Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ Diet, Exercise, Fitness Humor ] [ Divorce Humor ] [ Drinking, Party & Hangovers - 2 Pages! ] [ Driving A Car Humor ] [ Female Bashing ] [ Firefighters ] [ Grandparents ] [ Groaners & Puns - 2 Pages! ] [ Hunting, Fishing, Camping, Outdoors ] [ Insults, Pick-Up Lines, Come-Backs ] [ Kids Say The Funniest Things - 3 Pages! ] [ Lawyer Jokes - 2 Pages! ] [ Links to Other Humor Web Sites ] [ Little Johnny & Little Mary Jokes ] [ Male Bashing - 5 Pages! ] [ Mammogram & Menopause Humor ] [ Marriage & Relationships - 3 Pages! ] [ Medical & Dental Humor - 5 Pages! ] [ Military Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ Parents, Grandparents & Kids - 2 Pages! ] [ Police Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ Pregnancy Humor ] [ Redneck Humor - 3 Pages! ] [ Religious Humor - 5 Pages! ] [ Riddles! ] [ Tax Time! Income Tax Humor ] [ Teachers, Students, Education - 2 Pages! ] [ Toilet & Bathroom Humor - 6 Pages! ] [ Travel Humor ] [ Word Humor & Funny Definitions ] [ Working Folks - Office Humor - 6 Pages! ] [ One-Liners ] [ Miscellaneous Humor - 2 Pages! ]

This page was last edited 02/03/05.