Q. What do you give the blonde who has
everything?
A. Penicillin.
~~~~~
Q. What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?
A. The back of her head.
~~~~~
Q. What do you call a blonde with ESP and
PMS?
A. A know-it-all bitch.
~~~~~
Q. What do you call a blonde in a tree with a
brief case?
A. Branch manager.
~~~~~
Q. What is it when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?
A. Data transfer.
~~~~~
Q. Why did the blonde ask her friends to save burned-out light bulbs?
A. She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
~~~~~
Q. How can you tell a blonde has been at a computer?
A. There's cheese in front of the mouse.
~~~~~
Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A. Spot.
~~~~~
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in
common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
~~~~~
Q. What's a blondes idea of natural childbirth?
A. No make-up.
~~~~~
Q. What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A. "Is it mine?"
~~~~~
Q. Did you hear about the blonde who got locked
in the bathroom?
A. She was in there so long, she wet her pants.
~~~~~
Q. What do you call eight blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted flakes.
~~~~~
Q. Why was the blonde excited when she finished
the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
A. Because the box said 4 to 6 years.
~~~~~
Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A. Gifted.
~~~~~
Q. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde,
and a smart blonde
are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up?
A. The dumb blonde! There is no such
thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
~~~~~
Q: Why did God give blondes 2% more intelligence than horses?
A: He didn't want them pooping in the street during parades, too.
~~~~~
Q. How do you plant dope?
A. Bury a blonde.
~~~~~
Q. What does a blond and a beer bottle have in
common?
A. They're both empty from the neck up.
~~~~~
Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in their
ear ?
A. "Thanks for the refill."
~~~~~
Q: How do blonde brain cells die ?
A: Alone.
~~~~~
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.
~~~~~
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
~~~~~
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
~~~~~
Q: What will she ask you?
A: 'Is it mine?'
~~~~~
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
~~~~~
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can
you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats
that are going to London are all in the middle row.
~~~~~
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
~~~~~
Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: A foursome.
~~~~~
Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.
~~~~~
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
~~~~~
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
~~~~~
Q: What is the blonde
doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
~~~~~
Q: Why did the blonde
stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
~~~~~
Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3-1/2 days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she
weighed 125 lbs.
~~~~~
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was
hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache.
~~~~~
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.
~~~~~
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
~~~~~
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
~~~~~
Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a
shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
~~~~~
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
~~~~~
Q: How does a blonde "high-5?"
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
~~~~~
Q: What was the blonde doing up on the roof?
A: Someone told her that the drinks were on the house!!
Submitted by Mike M.
~~~~~
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This page was last edited 02/03/05.
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