A woman's car breaks down on the Interstate, so the driver eases over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers.
     Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the driver of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the hell is going on here?"
     "My car broke down," says the lady, calmly.
     "Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" screams the cop.
     "These are my emergency flashers!" replied the blonde!

~~~~~

     A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?
     The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
     The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a
dinner date.
     The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
     The next day, during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them. "NO WAY," she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

~~~~~

    80,000 blondes meet at the Wembley Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention." The compere says "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
    One blonde steps up. The compere says to her "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says "Eighteen." Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
    The compere says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give her another chance." So he says "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says "Ninety?"
    The compere sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the blonde starts crying and 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another chance, give her another chance." The compere, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says "OK! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four."
    Around the stadium 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

~~~~~

    Two blondes were walking down the street.  One of the blondes noticed a compact laying on the ground.  She picks it up, looks into the mirror, and says to the other blonde, "wow, this person really looks familiar".
    The other blonde takes the compact, looks into it and says, "You dummy! That's me."

~~~~~

     A guy took a blonde out on a date. Eventually they ended up parked at a "lovers point" where they started making out. After things started getting pretty good, he thought he might get lucky, so he asked her "Do you want to get into the back seat?"
     "NO!" she answered.
     Okay, he thought, maybe she's not ready yet.
     Now he has her shirt and skirt off, the windows are steamed, and things are getting really hot, so he asks again, "Do you want to get into the back seat?" "NO!" she answers again.
     Now he has her bra off, they're both very sweaty, and she even has his pants unzipped. Okay, he thinks, she HAS to want it now.  "Do you want to get into the back seat NOW?" he asks again.
     "NO!" she answers yet again.
     Frustrated, he demands "Well, why not!"
     "Because I want to stay up here with you!"

Submitted by Fran

~~~~~

Finally! - A Blonde GUY Joke:

     A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
     "What's up?" he says.
     "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
     He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
     The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
     You rotten $#(*&%$($#!, "says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids.

~~~~~

How to Fix a Dent in Your Car

     A blonde was driving home and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.  Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde and decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard and all the dents would pop out.
     So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tail pipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder and still nothing happened.  Her roommate, also a blonde came home and said,  "What are you doing?" The blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow in the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.  Her blonde roommate rolled her eyes and said, " Duh! Helloooo .....You need to roll up the windows first!"

Submitted by Sue C

~~~~~

     A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother overseas!"
     The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"
     "Yes, anything" the blonde promised.
     With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door"
     She did. He then said, "Get on your knees" She did. Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did. He said, "Go ahead...take it out"  She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands.
     The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well....go ahead!"
     The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly, "HELLO.....MOM???"

~~~~~

No Brainer

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn and she rolled the dice, and landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

Submitted by Ray

~~~~~

    A cop saw a blonde down on her knees under a streetlight.  "Can I help you?" he asked.
    Replied the blonde, "I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it."
    Asked the cop "did you drop it right here?"
    "No," she responded, "I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here."

~~~~~

Blonde House Painter

    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
    The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
    Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.  He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
    She replies yes.
    He asks what she is doing.
    She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
    He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. 
    She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said...FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

~~~~~

Space"y"

    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
    The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
    The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!
    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
    To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

Submitted by Ray

~~~~~

My One Request

    One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.
    "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.
    "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.
    "There must be something you would have of me," said God.
    "Well, there is one thing," she said.
    "Just name it," said God.
    "It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop."
    "Consider it done," said God. Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."
    "There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.
    "Name it. Please," said God.
    "It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel."

~~~~~

    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

~~~~~

    A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2AM. The blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
    The husband asked, "Who was that?"
    The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."

~~~~~

    A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
    Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.  She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
    The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
    The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

~~~~~

The Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
    The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

Submitted by Ray

~~ Top of Page ~~

For links to other Blonde Jokes Web sites, see our Humor Links Page

Quick Links to the Dumb Blonde Joke Pages from ButlerWebs:
[ Blonde Jokes - Page 1 ]
[ Dumb Blonde Jokes - Page 2 ] [ Dumb Blonde Jokes - Page 3 ] [ Dumb Blonde Jokes - Page 4 ] [ Dumb Blonde Riddles & One Liners - Page 1 ] [ Dumb Blond Riddles & One Liners - Page 2 ]

Quick Links to the 100's of Jokes & Cartoons Categories from ButlerWebs:
[ 100's of Jokes & Cartoons - Home Page & Index ]
[ Animals, Pets & Critters ] [ Automotive & Driving Humor ] [ Babyboomers, Over-The-Hill Humor - 4 Pages! ] [ Blonde Jokes & Riddles - 6 Pages! ] [ Bloopers, Funny Ads & Signs ] [ Brain Teasers - 2 Pages! ] [ Bumper Stickers - 2 Pages! ] [ Chick With Nice Knockers ] [ Christmas Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ COMIC CORNER - Featuring Cartoonists! ] [ Computer & Internet Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ Diet, Exercise, Fitness Humor ] [ Divorce Humor ] [ Drinking, Party & Hangovers - 2 Pages! ] [ Driving A Car Humor ] [ Female Bashing ] [ Firefighters ] [ Grandparents ] [ Groaners & Puns - 2 Pages! ] [ Hunting, Fishing, Camping, Outdoors ] [ Insults, Pick-Up Lines, Come-Backs ] [ Kids Say The Funniest Things - 3 Pages! ] [ Lawyer Jokes - 2 Pages! ] [ Links to Other Humor Web Sites ] [ Little Johnny & Little Mary Jokes ] [ Male Bashing - 5 Pages! ] [ Mammogram & Menopause Humor ] [ Marriage & Relationships - 3 Pages! ] [ Medical & Dental Humor - 5 Pages! ] [ Military Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ Parents, Grandparents & Kids - 2 Pages! ] [ Police Humor - 2 Pages! ] [ Pregnancy Humor ] [ Redneck Humor - 3 Pages! ] [ Religious Humor - 5 Pages! ] [ Riddles! ] [ Tax Time! Income Tax Humor ] [ Teachers, Students, Education - 2 Pages! ] [ Toilet & Bathroom Humor - 6 Pages! ] [ Travel Humor ] [ Word Humor & Funny Definitions ] [ Working Folks - Office Humor - 6 Pages! ] [ One-Liners ] [ Miscellaneous Humor - 2 Pages! ]

This page was last edited 02/03/05.