Seen on a T-Shirt:
If I Had Known Being a Grandparent Was So Much Fun,
I Would Have Done It First

~~~~~

    My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?"

~~~~~

    My grandmother moved in with our family of five. As I was brushing my teeth one morning, she tapped on the door. "Is anyone in there?" she called.
    I mumbled an answer, to which she replied, "Is that a yes or a no?"

~~~~~

    A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
    She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"
    Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."

~~~~~

    Two little boys were visiting their grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch.  They couldn't make up their minds about what they wanted to eat.
    Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring them bread and water."
    One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have ketchup on it?"

~~~~~

    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Granma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
    I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
    "You're both old," he replied.

~~~~~

Perhaps you know why women over sixty don't have babies. They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

Submitted by Qiltmeister

~~~~~

    I didn't know if my granddaughter has learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask her what color it was.  She would tell me and always she was correct.  But it was fun for me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself."

~~~~~

    A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.  Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus:  the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

~~~~~

    A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
    The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

~~~~~

    A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.  She told him she was writing a story.
    "What's it about?" he asked.
    "I don't know," she replied.  "I can't read."

~~~~~

A Letter from Grandma

Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes:

    The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
    Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
    I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
    Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
    Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach."
    I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing; why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!
    A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
    I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
    Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Love,
Grandma

Compliments of Linda & Barry

~~~~~

Games For When We Are Older
1. Sag, you're it
2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over
6. Doc Goose
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and Go Pee
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical Recliners

Submitted by TJ

~~~~~

The Perks of Being 40 & Over

• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

• No one expects you to run into a burning building.

• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

• Things you buy now won't wear out.

• You can eat dinner at 4 PM.

• You can live without sex but not without glasses.

• You enjoy hearing arguments about pension plans.

• You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

• You sing along with elevator music.

• Your eyes won't get much worse.

• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

• Your joints are a more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service.

• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

~~~~~

You can have a healthy sex life well into your later years.
Of course, that's assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked!

~~~~~

For more jokes about Older Folks on ButlerWebs, see:
BabyBoomers - Page 1
BabyBoomers - Page 2
BabyBoomers - Page 3
Baby Boomers - Page 4
and our General Webs for Older Folks

Grandparent's Day Holiday
Information, links & other information for and about grandparents
From SunnieBunnieZZ

~~~~~

The Foundation for Grandparenting
The Foundation For Grandparenting is a not-for-profit, tax-exempt corporation. Since 1980 they have been dedicated to raising grandparent consciousness and grandparent identity. Through education, research, programs, communication, and networking, they promote the benefit of grandparenting and the involvement of grandparents as agents of positive change for families and society. Their website has been in place since 1998.  www.grandparenting.org

~~~~~

GrandparentWorld.com
Feature articles, shopping, message board,
lots of stuff for grandparents.

~~~~~

iGrandparent.com
Enriching the lives of grandparents
and their grandchildren
With a whole page of the cute things that grandkids say!
Cute Things They Say

~~~~~

~~ Top of Page ~~

Be sure to see ButlerWebs General Webs for:
Just For Parents & Grandparents
Just For Kids
Poems Just For Parents & Grandparents
Inspiration & Motivation - Family

Return to Butler Webs 100's of Jokes & Cartoons Index

Quick Links to the 100's of Jokes & Cartoons Categories from ButlerWebs:

This page was last edited 10/17/07.